This episode is from 11/22/08, and was the only scripted "bit" in the history of THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW. We've long since ended our feud with Talking Metal's Mark Strigl and John Ostronomy!

ORIGINAL WRITEUP: The "Talking Metal" dumbbells decided to play investigative journalist at a Union, New Jersey Best Buy, and let’s just say it went exactly as poorly as you’d expect. From harassing minimum-wage workers to getting slapped with a regional ban, these guys are the reason we can’t have nice things in the podcasting world. We get the inside scoop from a store manager who had to deal with their "Chinese Democracy" obsession firsthand.

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– Why the "Talking Metal" clowns are the ultimate podcaster dumbbells.
– The iTunes wipe: How being a pansy ruins your rankings.
– Best Buy Stakeout? Imagine being a retail worker dealing with these dorks.
– EXCLUSIVE: The Best Buy Manager calls in to confirm the ban.
– Sleeping bags and Axl Rose cutouts: The peak of middle-aged desperation.

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Seth Williams is back, and he’s carrying a weight—literally—that would break a lesser man. After a month of silence, the truth about his "ball region" comes to light, and it’s a medical nightmare that sounds like a dark comedy sketch. If you think you've had a bad week, wait until you hear about the driveway disaster that nearly ended in a rural hostage situation.

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Featured On This Episode:

- The "Watermelon" Medical Mystery: Five weeks of swelling that doctors can’t (or won't) fix.
- The Driveway From Hell: Why an ice cream delivery turned into a two-hour mud-trap nightmare.
- Fear Factor Realism: Chris explains why Johnny Knoxville’s new era is the only thing worth watching.
- The "Seth Rule": Why amusement parks might need a new weight—and girth—requirement.

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Saturday Night Live: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST on Rumble/Locals.

American death metal pioneers SIX FEET UNDER will unleash their Next To Die full-length on April 24th through Metal Blade Records.

Next To Die marks a new creative high for SIX FEET UNDER, its dozen songs marking the band's fifteenth album since 1995's Haunted. "It started out as an album full of death metal songs with speed and aggression," says guitarist Jack Owen. "Then [vocalist] Chris [Barnes] had the brilliant idea to keep half of those death metal songs and add some groovier songs in the vein of the early SIX FEET UNDER material. Chris emphasized tempo, so keeping with the beats per minute for early SFU classics, I wrote a side of tasty groove-laden music with Chris doing all the lyrics."

The creative collaborative approach sees Next To Die essentially broken down into two different sides - Death and Groove - resulting in an aural masterwork that satisfies SIX FEET UNDER as artists, while also offering something for every fan.

The record was produced by Owen and Barnes and mixed and mastered by Mark Lewis of MRL Studios in Nashville, Tennessee, and follows 2024's Killing For Revenge. It's the third record that Barnes and Owen have created together since reuniting in 2017. "We don't discuss lyrical themes, we each write what we're feeling," explains Barnes. "We each just write what we find interesting."

SIX FEET UNDER was initially formed as a side project for Barnes during his final years with the band that he co-founded, Cannibal Corpse. It became the frontman's sole focus in 1995, coinciding with the release of their debut, Haunted. The current lineup of Barnes, Owen, lead guitarist Ray Suhy, bassist Jeff Hughell, and drummer Marco Pitruzzella make for a devastating unit.

That sonic devastation shines on lead single, "Unmistakable Smell Of Death," which sees Owen owning his blast and fast riffs with dynamic pull-offs and stop sections. "This song began musically before I had any lyrical ideas in mind," says Owen. "I dug through my riff archive for some blast and fast riffs and updated them with some pull-offs and stop sections. The middle section riffs were also from my riff archive. I do scratch leads on my demos, but Ray always does a much better job with the leads.

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"Lyrically, I'm writing from the perspective of a killer who toys with a victim and unties them, allowing them to fight. He underestimates their ability to fight, and they get the better of the killer, ultimately impaling and beheading him. The 'Unmistakable Smell Of Death' is now that of the killer!"

Watch SIX FEET UNDER's visualizer for "Unmistakable Smell Of Death" HERE.

Next To Die comes swathed in the cover art of Sandy Rezalmi and will be released on CD and digital formats as well as vinyl in the following color variants:

180g Black (EU)
Red w/ Black Smoke (US)
Bone Brown Marbled (EU - Ltd. 500)
Blue Grey Marbled (EU - Ltd. 300)
Blood Splatter (EU - Ltd. 300)
Bone White Green Splatter (EU - Ltd. 200)

Next To Die Track Listing:
01. Approach Your Grave
02. Destroyed Remains
03. Mister Blood and Guts
04. Mutilated Corpse in the Woods
05. Unmistakable Smell of Death
06. Wrath and Terror Takes Command
07. Skin Coffins
08. Mind Hell
09. Naked and Dismembered
10. Grasped from Beyond
11. Next to Die
12. Ill Wishes

SIX FEET UNDER will return to stages this Summer on a North American headlining tour. Set to begin on July 8th in Detroit and run through August 11th in Chicago, the tour features support from Kataklysm and Wormhole.

Comments Barnes, "July and August are gonna get ultra brutal on our headline tour of North America in support of our new album Next To Die, with our old friends in Kataklysm, and special guests Wormhole. Very psyched to get back on the road in the States, and really, really looking forward to playing Canada on this tour. I think it's our first time in Canada in decades… You do not want to miss these shows! See you all this Summer!"

The North American journey will follow the band's previously announced European headlining tour this June with support from Embryonic Autopsy.

Presales begin Thursday, March 12th password: GRAVE. General onsale date is Friday, March 13th. See all confirmed dates below.

SIX FEET UNDER w/ Kataklysm, Wormhole:
7/08/2026 Sanctuary - Detroit, MI
7/09/2026 Lee's Palace - Toronto, ON ^
7/10/2026 Fairmount - Montreal, QC ^
7/11/2026 Overflow - Ottawa, ON ^
7/12/2026 Palladium Upstairs - Worcester, MA
7/13/2026 Space Ballroom - Hamden, CT
7/14/2026 Gramercy Theatre - New York, NY
7/15/2026 Broken Goblet - Bensalem, PA
7/16/2026 Chapel of Bones - Raleigh, NC
7/17/2026 Albatross - Jacksonville, FL
7/18/2026 Culture Room - Fort Lauderdale, FL
7/19/2026 Conduit - Orlando, FL
7/21/2026 Scout Bar - Houston, TX
7/22/2026 Come and Take It Live - Austin, TX
7/23/2026 Jake's - Lubbock, TX
7/24/2026 Lauter Haus - Farmington, NM
7/25/2026 Nile - Phoenix, AZ
7/26/2026 1720 - Los Angeles, CA
7/27/2026 Strummer's - Fresno, CA
7/28/2026 Cornerstone - Berkeley, CA
7/29/2026 Goldfield - Roseville, CA
7/30/2026 Shredder - Boise, ID *
7/31/2026 Hawthorne Theatre - Portland, OR
8/01/2026 El Corazon - Seattle, WA
8/02/2026 Rickshaw - Vancouver, BC ^
8/04/2026 Arrowhead - Calgary, AB ^
8/05/2026 Starlite Room - Edmonton, AB ^
8/06/2026 Black Cat - Saskatoon, SK ^
8/07/2026 Park Theatre - Winnipeg, MB ^
8/08/2026 Skyway Theatre - Minneapolis, MN
8/09/2026 The Annex - Madison, WI
8/10/2026 Madison Theater - Covington, KY
8/11/2026 Reggies - Chicago, IL
* No Kataklysm
^ Kataklysm headlines

European Tour w/ Embryonic Autopsy:
6/03/2026 Mystic Festival - Gdańsk, PL
6/04/2026 Franz - Berlin, DE
6/05/2026 Pitfest - Maastricht, NL
6/06/2026 Gebäude 9 - Cologne, DE
6/07/2026 The Garage - Saarbrücken, DE
6/10/2026 Colosseum - Košice, SK
6/12/2026 Nova Rock- Nickelsdorf, AT
6/13/2026 A38 - Budapest, HU
6/14/2026 Orto - Bar Ljubljana, SI
6/16/2026 Kaminwerk - Memmingen, DE
6/17/2026 Backstage Halle - Munich, DE
6/19/2026 Colo-Saal - Aschaffenburg, DE
6/20/2026 Graspop Festival - Dessel, BE
6/21/2026 Hellfest - Clisson, FR
6/23/2026 Logo - Hamburg, DE
6/24/2026 Copenhell - Copenhagen, DK
6/26/2026 Basinfire Festival - Spálené Poříčí, CZ
6/27/2026 Abyss Festival - Hauteville, CH

SIX FEET UNDER:
Chris Barnes - vocals
Jack Owen - guitars
Marco Pitruzzella - drums
Jeff Hughell - bass
Ray Suhy - guitars