Is Harry Chapin actually the most “Death Metal” songwriter to ever exist? Neeley and Chris Akin dive into a 10-minute lyrical trainwreck titled “Bummer” that features lead poisoning, “killing slants,” and “mainlining skag”—making modern cancel culture look like a playground. But that’s just the start of the chaos. 🖕
We also witness Chris Akin’s fastest ticket to hell as he pranks a “God-fearing” karaoke singer into dedicating Dokken’s “Alone Again” to a fake dying brother named Wes. Plus, the most pathetic meltdown in radio history as “The Rev” from Dirt Talk loses his mind over a single chat room comment and begs Eddie Trunk for a rumble he’s too scared to have face-to-face.
Finally, we meet the kings of Blog Talk Radio: “Big Mike,” who thinks Starbucks laces coffee beans with “artificial caffeine,” and “Chris P. Bacon,” a 16-year-old who claims heavy metal was invented by 1930s Delta Blues guitarists with “bleeding fingers.” It’s a scorched-earth tour through the darkest, dumbest, and most offensive corners of pop culture. 🎸🔥
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🤘 THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW: Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Since 1996, THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW has caused global chaos. Neeley and Chris deliver the best “shock jock” radio today—a scorched-earth look at pop culture, sex, and the 80s Hard Rock we live for.
THE LINEUP: We dive deep into the legends: Motley Crue, Metallica, Judas Priest, Poison, Metal Church, Dokken, Lynch Mob, Journey, Ratt, and our favorite target, Eddie Trunk.
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TO ALL OUR LOYAL FCKIES: You know the deal. If you aren’t a pssy, subscribe for the highlights and head to the site for the raw truth. HAIL & KILL! F*CK YOU, PAL! HANDJOB! 🖕
